1. Attending Behaviour
2. Closed and Open-Ended Questions
3. Paraphrase
4. Summary
5. Reflection
1)
Attending Behaviour
v Orienting
oneself physically and psychological
v Encourages
the other person to talk
v Lets the
client know you’re listening
v Conveys
empathy
What Does Attending Behaviour Look Like?
a) SHOVLER (Or SOLER – the
underlined):
v S: Face
the other Squarely
v H: Head nods
v O: Adopt
an Open Posture
v V: Verbal
Following
v E: Speech
v L: Lean
toward the other
v E: Make Eye
Contact
v R: Be Relatively
Relaxed
b) Listening:
Listening is the most important
skill in counselling. It is the process of ‘hearing’ the other person. Three
aspects of listening;
i)
Linguistic: actual words, phrases and metaphors used to
convey feelings.
ii)
Paralinguistic: not words themselves but timing, accent,
volume, pitch, etc.
iii)
Non-verbal: ‘body language’ or facial expression, use of
gestures, body position and movement, proximity or touch in relation to the counsellor
All
these express the internal state of the counselee and can be ‘listened’ to by
the attentive counsellor.
2)
Four types of Counselling
Interventions
i)
Open-Ended Questions
ü Questions
that clients cannot easily answer with “Yes,”, “No,” or one- or two-word
responses
ü “Tell me about your family while you were growing
up”
ü “Why is that
important to you?”
ü How did you
feel when that happened?”
ü “What did you do when she said that?”
ü “What are
your reasons for saying that?”
Purposes of Open-Ended Questions:
To begin an interview
To encourage client elaboration
To elicit specific examples
To motivate clients to communicate
ii)
Closed-Ended Questions
Questions that the other can easily answer
with a “Yes,” “No,” or one- or two-word responses
“Are you going to have the test done?”
“Did you drink before you got into the car?”
“Do
you drink often?”
“Do you exercise?”
“Do
you like your job?”
Purposes of Closed-Ended Questions:
To obtain specific information
To identify parameters of a problem or issue
To narrow the topic of discussion
To interrupt an over-talkative client
Closed vs. Open-Ended Question
Examples
C: Are
you scared?
O: How
do you feel?
C: Are
you concerned about what you will do if the test results are positive?
O: What
do you think you might do if the test results are positive?
C: Is
your relationship with your husband a good one?
O: Tell
me about your relationship with your husband.
iii)
Reflection:
Reflection is the echoing back of
the last few words that the client has spoken. It is widely used in Rogerian
counselling.
e.g.:
Counselee: We moved to Bangalore from gulf at the
beginning of last year but none of us really settled down. My wife never did
like living in such a large city. I found it difficult to get a job….
Counsellor: You found it difficult to
get a job…
Counselee:
Well, it was difficult to start with, any way. I suppose I didn’t really try
hard enough …
Counsellor: You didn’t really try hard
enough … (more later-below)
iv)
Challenging:
Though challenging and confronting
are not associated with counselling, there are times they are appropriate and
even necessary.
Counselee: There is no one in this
organization that I can talk to at all
Counsellor: No one?
Counselee: I have always been a failure,
never been any good at anything.
Counsellor: Always?
3)
Paraphrasing
The counsellor rephrases the content
of the client’s message
Example:
Ø Client: “I
know it doesn’t help my depression to sit around or stay in bed all day.”
Ø Counsellor:
“It sounds like you know you should avoid staying in bed or sitting around all
day to help your depression.”
Purposes of Paraphrasing
To convey that you are understanding him/her
Help the client by simplifying, focusing and
crystallizing what they said
May encourage the client to elaborate
Provide a check on the accuracy of your
perceptions
When to use it
- When you have an hypothesis about what’s
going on with the client
- When the client is in a decision making
conflict
- When the client has presented a lot of
material and you feel confused
Steps in Paraphrasing
Client,
a 40-year-old woman: “How can I tell my husband I want a divorce? He’ll think
I’m crazy. I guess I’m just afraid to tell him.”
Steps
a) Recall the
message and restate it to yourself covertly
b) Identify the
content part of the message
c) Wants
divorce, but hasn’t told husband because he will think she’s crazy
d) Select an
appropriate beginning: E.g., “It sounds like,” “You think,” “I hear you
saying,”
e) Translate the
key content into your own words: Want a divorce= break off, split; E.g., “It
sounds like you haven’t found a way to tell your husband you want to end the relationship
because of his possible reaction. Is that right?”
f) Confirm the
accuracy of the paraphrase
Practice: Get
into triads/dyads and do the following paraphrases together
4)
Summary
v A collection
of two or more paraphrases or reflections that condenses the client’s messages
or the session
v Covers more
material
v Covers a
longer period of client’s discussion
Purposes of a Summary
To tie together multiple elements of client
messages
To identify a common theme or pattern
To interrupt excessive rambling
To start a session
To end a session
To pace a session
To review progress
To serve as a transition when changing topics
Steps in a Summary
Example-
Client, an young girl
Ø At the
beginning of the session:
“I don’t understand why my parents
can’t live together anymore. I’m not blaming anybody, but it just feels very
confusing to me.” [Said in a low, soft voice with lowered, moist eyes]
Ø Near the
middle of the same session:
“I wish they could keep it
together. I guess I feel like they can’t because they fight about me so much.
Maybe I’m the reason they don’t want to live together anymore.”
a) Recall key content and affect
messages
Ø Key content:
wants parents to stay together
Ø Key affect:
feels sad, upset, responsible
b) Identify patterns or themes
Ø She is the
one who is responsible for her parents’ break-up
c) Use an appropriate sentence
stem and verbalize the summarization response
Ø e.g., “I
sense,” or “You are feeling”
d) Summarize
Ø e.g.,
“Earlier today you indicated you didn’t feel like blaming anyone for what’s happening
to your parents. Now I’m sensing that you are feeling like you are responsible
for their break-up
e) Assess the effectiveness of
your summarization
Practice: A
30-year-old man who has been blaming himself for his wife’s unhappiness: I
really feel guilty about marrying her in the first place. It wasn’t really for
love. It was just a convenient thing to do. I feel like I’ve messed up her life
really badly. I also feel obliged to her. [Said in low, soft voice tone with
lowered eyes]
Practice: A 27-year-old woman who has
continually focused on her relationships with men and her needs for excitement
and stability:
Ø First
session: I’ve been dating lots and lots of men for the last few years. Most of
them have been married. That’s great because there are no demands on me.
[Bright eyes, facial animation, high-pitched voice]
Ø Fourth
session: It doesn’t feel so good anymore. It’s
not so
much fun. Now I guess I miss having some commitment and stability in my life.
[Soft voice, lowered eyes]
5)
Reflection
v A verbal response
to client emotion
Example
v Client: “So
many things are going on right now: another hectic semester has started, my
dog’s sick, and my mom’s ill too. I find myself running around trying to take
care of everything. I’m not sure I can take it anymore.”
v Counsellor:
“You’re feeling pretty overwhelmed by all the things that are going on right
now.”
Purposes of a Reflection
¨ Helps
clients:
ü Feel
understood
ü Express more
feelings
ü Manage
feelings
ü Discriminate
among various feelings
Steps of a Reflection
Ø Client, a
50-year-old steelworker now laid off: “Now look, what can I do? I’ve been laid
off over a year. I’ve got no money, no job, and a family to take care of. It’s
also clear to me that my mind and skills are just wasting away. [Said in a
loud, critical voice, staring at the ceiling, brow furrowed, eyes squinting]
a.
Listen closely and observe behaviour
Ø Watch
nonverbal behaviour
Ø Verbally
reflect the feelings back to the client
b.
Identify the feeling category
c.
Identify the intensity
d.
Match the feeling and intensity of a word
e. Feed
back to the client
f. Add
content using the form
Ø “You feel ___
, because _____.”
g.
Check for accuracy
Practice: Get
into your triads/dyads and do the following paraphrases together
